i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize