I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
