Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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