Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
