Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
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