Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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