there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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