I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I want a musical about memes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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