She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
