Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
