so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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