I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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