i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize