Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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