Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
