I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
