I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
