There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
