I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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