Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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