u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
