im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
