he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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