Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
