I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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