Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
