I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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