The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
