There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
