lets start a swedish sibling band together
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
