the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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