There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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