Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
