I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
