it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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