arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
