the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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