the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We talked him into tasing himself.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
