Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
