Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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