Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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