i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
