I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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