I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
