even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
