"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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