Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
