i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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