well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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