Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
