I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just made my gag reflex go away.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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