just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
