Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
