I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
