One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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