Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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