My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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