proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
