best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
