I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need to calm my uterus...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
