is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My balls are so social today.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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