Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
